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Dear diary,
I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today.
I will not lose today.
I will not lose today.
I will not lose today.
I will not lose today.
I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today. I will not lose today.
Omar said I should try positive thinking, diary. Do you think it'll work?
Well diary that DIDN'T EXACTLY WORK OUT BUT IT HAS BEEN FUN BREAKING STUFF FOR THE LAST HOUR BECAUSE I RUINED OUR SEASON.
Love,
BrettCurrent Mood:  nervous |
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Dear diary,
What a great day! I didn't pitch so well and gave up a bunch of runs, but luckily my team rallied and scored tons of runs for me so I got a win! It was all thanks to Edgardo Alfonzo and his powerhouse bat, and also some really smart baserunning! It was great! And luckily the umpires made all the right calls. Really, the only negative thing was that I was having a really bad hair day.
...
...
...
OH WAIT. I TOTALLY THOUGHT I WAS WRITING IN MY BIZARRO DIARY JUST NOW. Oops! What REALLY happened is that I pitched six shutout innings, gave up 2 runs in the 7th and took the loss because... guess how many runs we scored? No really diary, guess. No, not one run. ZERO! The Padres lost again to the Rockies so we had a chance to gain ground on them, we were facing a middle reliever making a rare start, the Nationals were resting their entire starting lineup... AND WE DIDN'T SCORE AT ALL. We really made a statement out there. That statement was: "We can't wait to work on our golf game!" I don't even like golf!
There had better be lots of damn Kleenex on the plane, that's all I can say. Not that I'm upset or crying or anything because I know it's just baseball and it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things blah blah I KNOW. I just have a cold...
Love,
BrettCurrent Mood:  sad Current Music: Total Eclipse of the Heart - Bonnie Tyler |
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meme
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Sep. 17th, 2005 @ 07:52 pm
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Dear diary,
Hey we won again! That was pretty fun!
( Then I did a meme! )
This America's Next Top Model marathon on VH1 is like crack! Crack in television form!
Love,
Brett |
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zzz
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Sep. 15th, 2005 @ 10:17 pm
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Dear diary,
Look what I missed for that crappy game:
And apparently it's rude to listen to your iPod during the game. What? It was incredibly boring.
Poor Henny is all upset. I tried to tell him this game didn't matter anyway but he won't listen. Omar says someone needs Japantown Denny's pie, and that someone's name starts with a Brad and ends with a Hennessey!
Love,
BrettCurrent Mood:  annoyed Current Music: Beautiful - Christina Aguilera |
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Dear diary,
Hey guess what! We lost again! We are bad! But don't think about that, diary, that's not important. Barry Bonds is coming back! Barry Bonds is coming back! Barry Bonds is coming back! Barry Bonds is coming back! Barry Bonds is coming back! Barry Bonds is coming back! Barry Bonds is coming back! Barry Bonds is coming back! Barry Bonds is coming back! Barry Bonds is coming back! Barry Bonds is coming back! Barry Bonds is coming back! Barry Bonds is coming back! Barry Bonds is coming back! Barry Bonds is coming back! Barry Bonds is coming back! Barry Bonds is coming back! Barry Bonds is coming back!
Uh, yeah. Barry Bonds is coming back. So even when we lose, no one really asks us about it. They ask us how we feel that Barry will soon be here to save us all.
So my big switch from #50 to #35 to change my luck basically didn't change my luck at all, diary. I gave up 2 runs, we scored 2 runs, the Hawk gave up another one in the 8th, there's your ballgame. At least I got a no decision. I guess I should be happy we got two runs because how can we possibly be expected to score without Barry Bonds???? But never fear, fans! Barry Bonds is coming back! Buy tickets nooooow. What's that you say? It's the middle of September and seven games back? No matter. Barry Bonds will make up those games in no time.
Anyway my place is a real mess after last night so I guess I should get to cleaning that up at some point. Or I could keep eating snacks and watching bad TV and hire someone to clean it tomorrow. What an exciting dilemma.
Love,
Brett |
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Dear diary,
Sorry about the entry regarding God hating me and stuff. I realize that's a little over the top. It's probably not God that hates me, it's most of my team. That's the only explanation for why they seem to go out of their way to lose when I start. I should just be happy they waited until I left the game to blow it so I didn't take another loss.
I never thought I'd say this but I might as well just go back to the bullpen. Who needs this abuse every five days?
Anyway diary, I guess there's no need for depression. There's nothing I can do about the bullpen blowing it and the offense disappearing, right? Noah won NL Pitcher of the Month so I'm going to celebrate with him. This is a happy evening, by God!
Love,
Brett
Sep. 6th, 2005 @ 09:42 pm
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| » second place |
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Dear diary,
Hey what's up. Not much here. We've won four in a row and now we're in second place! No won again for like the 400th consecutive time or something, it was great. He had a real bad first inning and gave up three runs, then got into jams in practically every inning after that but fought through them all without allowing any more runs. It was pretty inspirational!
But the great news for me came before the game when I found out I'll be starting on Tuesday in place of Kev Correia, whose shoulder is messed up. So today I got to sit in the dugout instead of the bullpen! Last time I got demoted to the pen it was really fun, but now it's all different. All that really happens in there is that I sit and feel uncomfortable because LaTroy is glaring at me, while Ty and Munt are going back and forth talking about things no one cares about, and Scotty Eyre seriously NEVER STOPS TALKING except to warm up every other inning, and Captain Jack is all "Ahoy I'm Captain Jack, me first mate is Matt Cain, look at that comely wench in row 4," and Accardo's always asking me for advice about his hair and where I get my highlights done, and Mando is preternaturally jolly, and on and on diary. All I want to do is WATCH. THE. GAME. God. No wonder Jeff Fassero is like a ticking time bomb, he has to listen to that every day! And what does comely mean? Is that a word? I don't think it is. All I know is that I'm tired of pirate speak, I'm tired of Accardo touching my hair, I'm tired of Mando being more cheerful than Katie Couric, I'm tired of Ty and Munt debating for an hour about whether calling carnival workers "carnies" is politically incorrect, and I'm tired of Fassero sitting there with his arms crossed rocking and shaking his head. I want all the best for Kev and everything but it wouldn't break my heart if he took his time coming back from this injury.
Well I gotta go, we have some planning to do for the upcoming rookie hazing. We have way more rookies than usual this year so it's a little more time-consuming than we would've expected. Hey Nieks, would you prefer purple sequins or pink taffeta? I know you're already familiar with taffeta from the whole tutu experience. Hmm.
Love,
Brett
Sep. 3rd, 2005 @ 11:23 pm
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| » woo |
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Dear diary,
Today was the best day! On the baseball side of things, I pitched today because something's wrong with Kev's arm and he had to leave after the 2nd. And I mean no disrespect to Kev and wish him all the best, but I was kind of relieved that he had to leave the game and I had to go warm up because Munt was talking for like 25 minutes about how he read in Popular Science that there could soon be a banana apocolypse because bananas are such a perfect food and even the slightest exposure to disease could take them all out. Then Ty was all, "Enough already Munt, I thought I told you bananas are safe! Ha ha!" And Munt was all, "Wha?" Because Munt doesn't watch TV so he's never seen Ty's commercial. So then Ty had to explain it all and then Munt was like "Ty, I think the potential banana apocolypse is a little more important than some commercial." Thank God Rags came up and tapped me on the shoulder when he did because I was about to go punch the sunflower seed bucket again.
So Oldie Fassero and I had to pitch, being long relievers and all, and I pitched a couple of scoreless innings (thanks in part to this really great catch by Todd!) And we won because like half the team homered, so we won the series and made it a winning homestand, and I think that's the first time that's happened for a really long time so everyone was in a really great mood. Especially me!
Why was I in such a great mood? Well diary, first of all I have to apologize for all that unpleasantness last night. A diary is no place for petty arguments, I am very sorry. So anyway, this morning I met up with Noah and we talked about that stupid fight we were having and worked everything out, so we're best friends again! I'm so happy because I was super miserable, I couldn't even DDR with Mando yesterday. (Mando likes DDR too, can you believe it??) It's always nice to make up with someone after a fight, you know diary? Making up is so, so great!
OMG. Speaking of, I need to go. Bye diary!
Love,
Brett
Aug. 31st, 2005 @ 11:02 pm
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| » demoted again |
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Dear diary,
Hi. I guess you've heard by now that I got demoted to the bullpen again. Yesterday I was depressed about it, REAL depressed. Today Tuck came up to me in the dugout, where I was sitting with my head in my hands as per usual, and said, "Tomko, haven't you been trying to injure yourself for like two weeks to get out of starting and losing 20 games? Now you're out of it and you don't even have to deal with rehab, so stop whining and be happy for once." And you know what, diary? Tuck was right, I should be happy about this! He is very wise, that Michael Tucker. Sadly that was the last conversation I had with Tuck, as he was traded to the Phillies right after the game. :(
Anyway, I think it's pretty great that I'm probably not going to lose to the Rockies again this season. Matt Cain thinks it's soooo fun to be in the big leagues, we'll see how he likes it when he gives up like 2 runs to the Rockies and still loses because our bats can't handle aces like Byung-Hyun Kim and Jamey Wright and Yamid Haad can't catch popups.
Well diary, I have to go read InStyle and sit around by myself because Noah went out with Matt Cain. Why would that be any fun? Matt Cain's not even old enough to drink! I asked Schmidtty if he wanted to go to Momo's or something and he said he has no time for long relievers. Then he said the same thing to Jeff Fassero so I guess it wasn't a personal thing against me. But it still hurt, diary.
Love,
Brett
Aug. 27th, 2005 @ 07:03 pm
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| » dance dance dance |
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Dear diary,
Off days are sooo cool! Everyone keeps saying eventually I won't hate baseball anymore but I don't think that's true because every day that we don't have to play is like, the happiest day of my life. Well, no one on my team says that about me getting over the baseball hatred because they all hate it too. Except Noah because he can do no wrong right now as far as baseball goes. And as far as everything goes, really.
So today I went out with Omar for lunch and you can really tell how much this city also hates baseball. The waiter at the restaurant was like, "Hey you're Omar Vizquel and Brett Tomko!" and we were like, "Yeah, we are!" and then he just started talking about how he's going to the 49ers preseason game tomorrow and asked if we could get Alex Smith's autograph for him. Hmm.
Then Omar said he wanted to go to the Metreon to play Dance Dance Revolution so I went even though it sounded boring, but it totally wasn't boring! We played for hours! It was a good workout and the best part was that it didn't involve baseball at all! So while I was playing I tried to get some kind of injury so that I could be mentioned in one of those wacky injury articles they always have whenever someone injures themselves carrying deer meat or waking up from a nightmare about spiders, all:
Brett Tomko - Broke leg while beating Omar Vizquel at Dance Dance Revolution.
That'd be SO GREAT because then: 1) I wouldn't have to pitch any more this year so I wouldn't lose 20 games, 2) I could finally get my Hoveround, and 3) I'd live in infamy! Just like that guy who cut himself with a hunting knife he got as a gift and had to miss the playoffs. Oh wait, wasn't that Mikey?
Anyway diary, I didn't hurt myself, OF COURSE. Omar said he was tired and wanted to go home. He must be really depressed if even DDR didn't cheer him up. When I got back home Noah was here trying to fix the toaster because SOMEONE broke it, but it was all in pieces, a total lost cause. That sucked because I was really craving some toast. So we ordered some fancy new toaster from the Home Shopping Network and Julia went to bed. So then we went out for some drinks with Nieks, Munt and Henny, and Linden invited himself along too. Man, I felt old. Anyway, it turns out once you get some drinks in Todd he isn't such a jerk. In fact, he starts to get kind of sweet and affectionate, to the point that he probably made a certain person a little uncomfortable. Haha! It was a pretty low-key night overall. Life sure is great on days when I don't have all of the life drained out of me by stupid baseball. I should go, the night is young!
Love,
Brett
Aug. 25th, 2005 @ 11:27 pm
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